


how we survive (that's what makes us who we are)

by korras4



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, also travis because he's the best dad, some of the ftwd party make an appearance but it's not very important
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 15:42:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6201184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/korras4/pseuds/korras4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alicia is dumb enough to go at the back of the group but she ends up getting rescued by a cute blonde in the process so maybe it was kind of worth it. </p><p>or</p><p>Another Elyza Lex fic. I love this ship and it doesn't even exist so I had to spend my whole afternoon on it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. these are the days that bind us (together,  forever)

**Author's Note:**

> I spent all afternoon on this and it's still trash but there you go I'm kinda proud of it. Also bear with me (I've never written fic in this language before it's still kinda weird for me so bear with my south american not native english speaker ass just this once)

“You stupid son of a bitch”.

She shoved him hard, causing his back to hit the side of a vending machine. 

“Why can’t you think of anyone other than yourself for once?” she said, in a voice more tender than she meant, feeling the weight of everything that had happened coming down on her. Nick looked down, dropping the bottle of pills to the ground, its contents getting thrown all over the floor. He brought his hands to his face and rubbed his eyes, hair falling across his face. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I keep doing it. I never meant for any of this to happen, I didn’t, but it’s all my fault” his tone heavy with guilt and honesty, a voice that used to be cheerful and sometimes arrogant now stained with pain. She looked at him and her expression softened, she couldn’t take it anymore, she knew that he had it much worse than her. Nothing to make life hard than being a recovering addict at the end of the world. Alicia moved so she was leaning on the vending machine right next to her brother, it was an act of solidarity, of understanding, they both knew that.

“I’m scared” she finally let out, for the first time since the world had gone to hell, the confession coming out not much louder than a whisper. 

Nick moved a little closer so their shoulders were touching but he didn’t say anything. He understood what it meant, he understood her sister only dared to say it because it was just the two of them. They both knew what the other was thinking and neither of them needed to say a word. 

“They’re not back yet” Alicia was looking out the window in front of her, looking for her mom and the rest of her family, worry starting to show across her features.

“They will be” Nick said, noticing the change and moving to stand in front of the glass door of the store, as if looking out would rush them or help in any way. 

It was quiet, they had been moving up the coastline for three weeks now and the further they got the quieter it became. Today was the third supply run this week and they had barely encountered any walkers. The streets were mostly clear and the few walkers they encountered were easy to avoid. They hadn’t yet gotten to the phase were they could take them out. For some of them it still felt wrong, and for others it was just too much. 

Alicia knew that she would be able to do it when the moment came, that’s why she always kept a hunting knife on her hip and a steel baseball bat close to her left hand. She wouldn’t let fear paralyze her. She wouldn’t let it kill her or anyone else she loved. That was a promise she made to herself soon after she realized it was them against the world. 

The sun was starting to go down and she wondered where the hell her family was. It had been three hours since they told them to stay there with the food they had already collected. Her mom had insisted on trying to find medical supplies so they had headed for a private school that was three miles from there, hoping to find its infirmary well stocked and the site vacant of people, or walkers for that matter. 

She didn’t even know what this town was called, but she knew it was very close to a big city so the danger of walker hordes was real, they had to be on the lookout and they had to avoid making any noise. Looking out into the street she saw a Bath & Kitchen store, and she remembered how she used to cook with her mom for Nick’s birthday, she remembered the way they always sat together in front of the oven, staring at the growing cake without saying much of a word. She remembered how much she liked to light a candle next to her open window when she went to sleep, so the wind would blow it out but not before the room was filled with the smell of calm, the smell of hope and possibility, the smell of home. She thought of how many things had now been lost forever, how she would never be able to sit at the park again with her headphones on, looking at people and wondering what their worries and everyday problems were, that feeling of sonder filling her until she had to pull herself back to her own reality. She thought about the last time she went to the carnival, had she known it was the last time, would it have been any different?

A loud noise brought her back from her daydream just in time to see an ambulance crash into a light post just outside the store. The ambulance’s horn, however, rang for about half a minute, the sound ripping through the air.

_Shit._

This wasn’t good, noise this loud wasn’t good _at all._

She and Nick quickly exchanged glances and took off at the same time, each one of them grabbing one of the duffel bags on the floor and running out of the store through the front doors, Alicia stopping to get her bat. As son as they were out of the building they were reuniting with their family, who were busy getting out of the back of the ambulance where a walker’s body lay, not moving. 

Travis was the first to notice them “We didn’t know it was there, we thought it was dead but it must have been recent, after we got on it just woke up” he let out, still agitated. There was blood on his face and the front of his dark blue shirt. Chris was standing next to him, holding onto a bloody oxygen tank for dear life, his knuckles white but his expression calm, he just nodded, probably still taking in the fact that he had killed another walker. He had gotten increasingly good at this lately, but he still refused to use guns.

They heard the doors to the front seats close with a thud, right before Madison and Ofelia started walking towards the back of the rig. Alicia smiled, embracing her mother. “We’re okay, we got the medical supplies and ran into the ambulance when we saw walkers, driving seemed safer” she explained, trying to be reassuring. Alicia and Nick both nodded in understanding. The women let go and the group took a moment to organize what they were going to do. They knew the noise would attract whatever walkers were nearby so they had to move. Fast. 

Not a minute after the horn had stopped, the street they had just come from started filling with slow moving bodies. 

“We have to go, now!” Alicia pointed to a corner which after a turn led to the docks, where they had left the boat and the remaining members of their party.

Chris dropped the oxygen tank and took the duffel bag from Alicia, while Travis and Ofelia took the boxes still on the back of the rig. Travis signaled Madison and Ofelia to go first, which they did, him and Chris going after them and Alicia last, being the only one who was carrying nothing and could focus completely on spotting any threats. They got to the end of the street and took the road left, which went along a cliff and down to the sea. They ran, having nothing other than a freefall to their right and several streets coming from the city on their left, each one of them with walkers coming down them. They didn’t get very far before they spotted a group of walkers coming down what could only be a main street, which _obviously_ intersected with the road they were running down. They were about a block away but if they ran fast enough they could get past them before being cut off. They made it past the horde just before the walkers leading it started spilling into the cliff road, most of them not noticing the group and falling off. 

They kept running for fifteen more minutes, the horde behind them growing both in size and noise, which only attracted more walkers, and they were starting to close in. The group tried to keep up the pace, in hopes of keeping the three hundred feet that separated them. 

Alicia was still the last one on the group, and she ran at a swift pace, keeping an eye out for any lone walkers. Her eyes were fixed on the streets coming from the city and her bat was still gripped firmly in her left hand when she felt something grab her right foot, pulling her off balance, falling face first to the ground. She brought up her hands to stop the fall, which sent the bat flying off down the road and left her with only the knife to defend herself, a knife she couldn't find because _obviously_ it had fallen off when she tumbled to the ground. The walker pulled and she kicked with her free foot but its grasp was strong and it was pulling her closer. It seemed to be trapped under the tire of a car, unable to get closer to her but perfectly capable of pulling her in. That was her luck, a walker with his hand around her ankle and she was weaponless and unable to get free. _I am going to get killed by a fucking stray walker_ , she thought. When she turned to look in the direction they were going she saw her family, standing on the road two hundred feet from her, her mom fighting Nick’s hold and Travis running back to her just as a new group of walkers started spilling into the road. Right between Travis and her. _Of course_. Travis seemed to evaluate the situation, he looked around, trying to find another way to get to her. He saw the line of parked cars along the cliffside and got on the roof of the first one, jumping from that one to the next. It was a slow process and they both knew that he wouldn’t get to her before either group of walkers did. She was surrounded, she knew there was no way out of this, but stubborn as she was, she just kept kicking the walker at her feet and hoping for a miracle. 

She felt something graze her right forearm and a wave of sharp pain shoot up. Was she bitten? She couldn’t have been bitten, there weren’t any walkers other than the one at her feet, which wasn’t even moving anymore. She shook her leg and managed to get free from its hand, which fell limp to the ground, when she realized there was a knife hilt deep into its head. And not just any knife, her knife. She looked behind her to see where it had come from, but she didn’t see anyone. Both hordes of walkers less than a hundred feet from her and closing in at a steady pace, she was quickly up on her feet and looking for Travis, she saw him standing on a car barely ninety feet away from her, but unable to reach him due to the walkers swarming the space between the car he was standing on and the closest one for him to jump on to. He looked at her and she looked at him, both of them realizing there was nothing they could do. “Travis, go!” she yelled, waving her hand in a dismissal motion towards him and the rest of the group, knowing he couldn’t hear her that well over the sound of the hundreds of walkers. “We’re not leaving without you, Alicia” he was still trying to get to the next car. “Yes you are, I’ll meet you at the docks, I can get there using the back roads, now go!” she said, loudly, with a serious tone and her features showing nothing but determination. His expression softened and he nodded, still not sure of what to do. 

“That’s tough and all, but if either of you want to get out of this alive I suggest you move.” Both of them looked at the source of the voice, a blonde woman standing on the street corner closest to Alicia, a rifle resting on her shoulder, held by her right hand and Alicia´s bat on her left. “Hey, earth calling to the girl in the cute jacket, are you going to move? I’m not leaving you here so you might as well come here before I have to go get you”. Alicia snapped out of the trance and signaled Travis to go before running towards the blonde.

At soon as she got to her, the blonde positioned her rifle so it was on her back, hanging from her shoulder and offered the bat to her “Thought you might want this back, now follow me” she said. Speechless, Alicia took it and took off after her, not even knowing where they were going but not worried about it. For some reason, she didn’t perceive the blonde as a threat, even though she didn’t even know her name. _Trusting random people is going to get you killed, you dumbass._

The blonde led her through back streets, and every time they encountered a walker she made quick work of getting rid of it with a small axe she carried in her hip. After what felt like ages they slowed their pace and turned right into the parking lot of a small building. The blonde ran to the back and started climbing a ladder that looked like it would come down any second, whining with the sound of metal against metal as she made her way to the second floor. Once she was up, she looked down at Alicia, who hadn’t yet started climbing. “What’s wrong?” the blonde asked. Alicia didn’t feel like telling her she was scared of a staircase, as old and unsteady as it looked. They had just survived a mob of dead bodies out for blood and she didn’t want the blonde to think she was being ridiculous. But there was something about the way she was looking at her that made her feel like she wouldn’t laugh. “Is that safe?” the brunette asked, before she could stop herself, stare fixed on the piece of frail metal. The blonde smiled, not a hint of mockery in her gaze “Trust me?” she asked, extending her hand towards her. Alicia could’ve sworn that smile was the brightest one she had ever seen. She climbed up the stairs and took her hand to help herself up the last steps. 

“Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?” the blonde asked with a chuckle, squeezing her hand in the most subtle of ways before letting it go, turning around and climbing inside a window. Alicia followed suit, taking a moment to adjust her eyesight to the difference of light inside.

She took the space around her, it was and old apartment with just one space, it had brick walls and it was not awful in terms of decoration. In another time she would have considered it a nice place. She always wanted to live in a loft. But the life she used to have was over and she probably wouldn’t be thinking of having an apartment any time son. There was a surprising amount of different things lying around, taking most of the space in the living room where there was only a couch and a coffee table. She walked around, taking in the overwhelming amount of boxes, all different, their contents ranging from canned food to scented candles. _Who would need a box of scented candles_ , she wondered, and she couldn’t keep herself from thinking that scented candles were something that would have made her pre-apocalypse self very happy. She shook the thought, tears burning inside her eyelids.

__Other than the boxes there was just a backpack lying on the floor and an assortment of automatic weapons and different knives lying on the corner of the room, there was even a katana leaning on one of the walls across from the window. She wondered if you could be extra in an apocalypse, and after taking a look at the utterly unnecessary amount of weaponry the blonde owned she decided that you could be, and she was in the presence of the commander of the apocalypse extra. The blonde was standing next to the kitchen counter with her back to her, and Alicia finally took a minute to take her in._ _

__She was a little shorter than her, she looked fit but curvy, and after a while staring at her backside Alicia averted her eyes from her and blushed before remembering that the blonde couldn’t see her. She had a baseball cap on top of her head, her messy hair falling over her shoulders down to her upper back. She was wearing tight black jeans that did absolute wonders for her legs and a grey t shirt with a blue jacket on top. The blonde had a great body. And she was staring. Just as she looked away the blonde turned around, and if Alicia thought she was attractive before, she was completely breathless now. She was beautiful, and she was smiling. “So I kinda saved your ass back there.” The smile grew wider and Alicia blushed a little, looking away._ _

__“Well it would’ve been better if you hadn’t hit me in the process” she replied, putting her bleeding arm in the blonde’s line of sight._ _

__As soon as she saw it something changed in the girl’s features “Shit, I didn’t see that” she said, rushing to her side with a wet cloth on her hand, pulling Alicia by the arm so they were sitting on the couch, she wrapped the wound and cleaned all the dry blood around it, slowly and thoroughly. “It doesn’t look bad, you don’t need stitches. It shouldn’t take long to heal”, she paused, her features softening “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you” she said, her voice husky but apologetic._ _

__The reaction took the brunette by surprise, she didn’t expect her to be so soft and look so guilty. “It’s alright, you saved my life so it kind of cancels it out” she raised her other hand, placing it on top of the blonde’s, which was still holding the cloth over her wound. They sat there for a coupe of seconds, looking down at their hands and then into each other’s eyes, before the blonde stood up in front of her, her expression back to what Alicia supposed was normal, a playful smirk and a relaxed stance._ _

__“So I guess we haven’t had a formal introduction, I’m Elyza, Elyza Lex” the blonde, Elyza, extended her hand down to her, still sitting on the couch. She pushed herself onto her feet and took her hand, doing her best to keep her face blank from expression “Alicia, Alicia Clark” she replied, being careful to pronounce the last “k” in her last name that way she always did. Something seemed to flash across Elyza’s face for a second but before Alicia could ask, her smirk was back and her blue eyes were staring right into hers. If felt somewhat familiar, I really like her eyes, she thought, quickly scolding herself for letting her mind go there when she didn’t even know this girl. She only knew she was beautiful and that she had a killer aim with a knife and that she had a way of saying her own last name that resonated inside her in a way she didn’t quite understand, pulling the strings inside her like she had been born playing them. It echoed a feeling in her chest, something familiar but new at the same time._ _

__But she couldn’t be thinking about this, her family was who-knows-where and she needed to get back to them. She had no idea if Travis had made it back to the group or if they had reached the docks safely. She knew Travis would be blaming himself for not being able to reach her, they didn’t even know she was still alive. She had to get back to them._ _

__“So, Elyza, thanks for the save but I need to go back to my family now” she announced, looking away from the blonde’s eyes for the first time since the introductions. She turned around and grabbed the bat, which she didn’t remember leaving on top of a table near the couch. As she was making her way out of the window she Heard some rustling inside the apartment and turned around to see the blonde for what she presumed was the last time, only to find her standing behind her with her backpack and rifle on her back, strapping three hunting knives to her leg and holding the small axe in her right hand. Done with the knives, Elyza looked up to find Alicia staring at her, question written all over her features. “I’m coming with you” she said, stating it as if it were obvious and leaving no room for protests._ _

__A warm feeling started filling her chest, knowing that this wouldn’t be the last time she would be seeing the blonde. There was something about her that she couldn’t pinpoint, it was odd, because nothing in the world felt right anymore. People were either dead reanimated bodies or they were downright evil, everything had changed in less than a couple of months, the world didn’t feel like a good place anymore. But in the midst of all the fear, the anger, the loss and the pain, the girl with the sky inside her eyes and the sun in her hair made her feel at home._ _

__“So I guess there’s no point in trying to change your mind” Alicia let out, a smile taking over her face. Elyza smirked once again “There isn’t, you’ll come to the realization that I’m a very stubborn person, and I usually get what I want” she said somewhat playfully. “So, where are we going?” she asked._ _

__“We have a boat in the docks, it shouldn’t be that far, but I have to admit I’m not very sure where we are right now” the brunette stepped outside the window and looked cautiously at the set of stairs. The blonde let out a small laugh and took her by the wrist, “come on, there’s another way to go down” she led her to the other side of the building, where they could see a big green trashcan that reached the middle of the wall in height. “I’ll jump first just in case I need to catch you” the blonde let go of her hand and jumped down, falling on top of the metal lid with a thud. Alicia followed her, ending up right next to the girl, who then offered her hand so she could help her down to the ground. They walked side by side, hands brushing between them, to where the road opened into the main street and took a left towards the sea. The sun was coming down and they could see walkers in every direction._ _

Alicia hardened her grip on the bat and Elyza took out her axe, eyeing around her cautiously. She heard a walker coming up behind them and before Alicia even noticed its presence, it already had the upper half of the blonde’s axe inserted in its skull. She retracted her arm and the body fell limp to the ground, Alicia still shocked by how fast the blonde’s reflexes were. “You’re good at this” the brunette said, earning a chuckle from the blonde. “Just keeping you safe” she replied, “come on, I know a place where we can spend the night, it’s too late to get to the docks now, going there at night would be suicide”. Alicia nodded and took the blonde’s hand in hers before she could say anything else. She liked how they fit. Alicia with her left hand on her bat and Elyza with her right hand on her axe, both of them joined at the middle. It felt like this was meant to happen at one point or another. Alicia shook her head, _fate, really? Was she going to start believing in reincarnation now? Maybe people from space? That’s what the apocalypse does to you, it makes you go crazy._

__Elyza led them to an office building, which they entered, hand in hand, through the front door. They took the stairs to the fifth and last floor. When they got there Alicia was starting to feel tired, it had been a very long day for her. She realized she didn’t know anything about the blonde, they hadn’t seen anyone else beside her family. Was she alone? No one should be alone at a time like this. Did she use to live here? How did she know so much about this place otherwise?_ _

__They walked into one of the biggest offices there were, it was all crystal and you could see the sun setting out the window. Alicia stood there, looking at the sunset, and for a second. She forgot everything else. She had been standing there for a few moments, stunned by the view in front of her, when she felt a hand slip into hers._ _

__“Beautiful” the blonde said, barely a whisper._ _

__“It is” Alicia loved it, the colors and the calm, she felt safe standing there, never taking her eyes off the setting sun._ _

__“You don’t think you’ll ever find something this beautiful again, you convince yourself there is nothing left out there that could make up for all the horrible things you’ve seen and done, but then the world throws the most beautiful thing at you” the words are soft, honest, every one of them chosen carefully for this exact moment._ _

__Alicia nods, she knows what the blonde means, she too thinks beauty is too scarce in this new world she was forced into. She makes a habit of appreciating everything._ _

She fails to notice the blonde’s stare, which was never set on the setting sun, but on deep forest green eyes fixed on the horizon. Lost on a breathtaking jawline and carved marble cheekbones. Wandering over plump lips curved into a small smile. She doesn’t think she will ever be able to forget those features, she feels like she’s in front of the most beautiful girl on the planet. _A sunset has nothing on Alicia Clark, she tells herself._

__The brunette catches her staring, and senses her face heat up in a light blush. She feels guilty for enjoying the moment when she doesn’t know if her family is still alive. She frowns lightly and Elyza notices instantly. She pulls Alicia by the hand so they’re facing each other and brings her hands up to cup her face. She tries to find her gaze but the brunette is looking down. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Elyza asks, softly. The brunette leans into the touch, a tear running down her left cheek as she closes her eyes, her lips trembling and her breaths quickening. The blonde understood, she was scared and it was too much, too much in one day, too much in one lifetime. She already knew how that felt, she realized. Slowly, Elyza put her arms around her, holding the brunette steady so she could let go of the weight of the world. And she did, she cried until her knees gave out under her and she fell to the ground, Elyza still holding her, making sure she was okay. She tried to stop, Alicia Clark never cried, she was the one who remained strong when everyone else needed her to, she couldn’t afford to be weak. But now no one needed her, now she was safe and she was being held like she hadn’t been in such a long time. She needed someone to be there for her and now there was. She couldn’t stop the rush of tears and the pain overwhelming her. The loss of so many and so much. She was feeling it all at once, the ache of the whole world resonating in her bones. She felt like she would break under the tiniest amount of pressure and the only thing keeping her together were the arms around her. The only thing keeping her from falling to pieces was this blonde girl who had saved her life in exchange for nothing._ _

__She kept crying until there weren’t any more tears. She felt a hand softly stroke her hair, it helped calm her down. Once her breathing was back to normal she raised her hands and pushed herself away from the blonde slowly, just enough for them to not be touching._ _

__“Why?” the question was soft, timid, Alicia’s eyes fixated on the ground between them._ _

__The other girl understood instantly what she was asking about, “I couldn’t leave you to die”._ _

__“But why come with me?” she asked, knowing there was something more behind everything the blonde had done for her._ _

__“I don’t know” Elyza rose her gaze, the brunette could feel her eyes looking into hers, trying to force her to look back at her. “It just felt… right. It feels right to be here with you, if that makes any sense” she explained gently, like she was trying to make sense of it herself._ _

__“It doesn’t” Alicia replied looking up at the blonde, her face blank once again. Elyza felt herself shy away from the other girl’s eyes and retreated with her whole body, her hands coming to rest closer to her than where they were next to Alicia. “But I feel like that too” the brunette added, surprising the blonde when she wrapped her fingers around her wrist, causing her to look up again. She could see the confusion clouding her green eyes, she could see the fear, only she could also feel her calm heartbeat and the way she had relaxed and maybe even felt safe._ _

__“I’m going to help you find them, I promise” she shifted closer, still leaving enough space for her to retreat into._ _

__Alicia could see the honesty in the sky blue eyes, she could see the girl meant it, she looked for any trace of fear or doubt but she couldn’t find any. The one and only thing she felt when she got close to her was the overwhelming feeling of safety, she felt content, she felt home._ _

__She nodded, bringing the girl’s hand up to her face and leaning on it, closing her eyes. The blonde understood what the other girl needed, so she cupped her face with her hands and leaned into her, pressing their foreheads together. The brunette’s hands came up to rest on the blonde’s wrists._ _

__They were leaning on each other, they were together in a world where nothing was safe anymore and everyone was out for blood. The few people who were left believed there wasn’t anything else worth fighting for anymore, and a week ago, they would’ve agreed. But now, sitting in the top floor of an abandoned office building, holding each other in a way neither of them thought would be held ever again, a fresh feeling crawled out from where it had been buried the day they realized nothing would ever be the same. They felt it reach inside their chests, and maybe, just maybe, encased in warm hands and soft fingertips, each one dreaming in new color, they could dare to hope again._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you liked it because I could maybe do a follow up (no promises because I'm a lil shit)


	2. we locked eyes (for just a moment or two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People are worse than walkers, and we usually make the same mistakes more than once.
> 
> or
> 
> Elyza has a rough past she doesn't want to share with this beautiful girl who dresses like the world hasn't ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is longer than the last, I don't know what came over me.
> 
> (bear with my ass just a little bit longer this thing isn't going to be that long I promise)

_Run._

_There was a wide street stretching in front of her, tall buildings on each side and a lot of abandoned vehicles in her way, she could see the gas station at the next corner, hiding shyly behind a huge glass building. She ached to go back, but she couldn’t lead them there._

_She turned around to see how far behind they were, surprised when she couldn’t see them anymore. She needed to get back, now. She focused on the only thing that mattered at the moment, if they found her they would hurt her, and she didn’t think she would be able to take someone else dying on her. She made getting to the shelter the one and only thing on her mind._

_The gas station was less than thirty feet away now, she could see the silhouettes of people moving inside and for a second she felt her muscles relax and her body release a breath she didn’t even know she was holding._

_It didn’t last very long._

_She saw the outline of a tall man rising a weapon and before she could get to the door a gunshot was ringing in her ears, a set of screams ripping mercilessly through the air. Fear suddenly crippled her, every muscle in her body froze instantly, she turned to stone with the door handle gripped tightly between her fingers. This couldn’t be happening. She could feel the air leaving her body and she gasped for a breath she couldn’t take in, her chest fighting to expand but nothing filling it, her hands at her throat, scratching the skin on her chest._

-

She woke to someone startling and desperately fighting for air. Alicia turned around quickly, taking in her surroundings, confused when she didn’t feel the rocking movement or the boat, looking frantically for her brother. _Right, the supply run, the walker under the car, the blonde, Elyza._ She turned around looking for the girl, spotting her ten feet to her right, coughing and grabbing at her throat. Alicia turned around with her whole body, placing her hands on the floor next to her legs to help herself up, she stopped for a moment when felt a trace of warmth on the tiled floorboards. _She was sleeping here._ She shook the thought and the feeling it awoke in the depth of her chest, she needed to check on the other girl. She got up and walked towards Elyza, slowly and loudly so she would know she was coming, giving the blonde time to stop her if she didn’t want her to get any closer. She could hear the raspy sound the girl’s throat made when she finally managed to get the first mouthful of air through to her lungs. When she got there, the brunette kneeled in front of her, slowly, and looked into the blonde’s eyes. They were glossy, she could see they were still puffy from sleeping but the fear clouding them was evident, settled on them long before she had woken up. Her breaths started to normalize, a rhythm taking over them, but the girl’s hands were still suspended shakily next to her throat and her gaze remained fixed on the ground, probably lost in whatever nightmare she was fresh out of. Alicia stayed there, not moving a muscle, waiting for Elyza to be ready to look back at her. After a couple of minutes of deep encompassed breaths, the blonde brought her legs up to her chest and put her hands firmly around her knees, finally looking up to the girl in front of her. 

“Hey” Elyza said, her voice was husky and the brunette could hear how sore her throat was only with that one word. Her expression hadn’t changed, still a mix of fear and vacancy.

“Hey” Alicia said, putting a hand over the other girl’s knee in a very slow motion. “Are you okay?” she asked, her tone soft, forming every word as if it were porcelain, afraid to make the tiniest dent on the moment itself, her eyes deep with understanding, irradiating warmth.

The blonde looked down at the hand resting on her knee and nodded twice. She seemed to be satisfied with her answer, and Alicia didn’t want to push, so she did the only thing she could think of. She stood up and moved herself to sit next to the Elyza, bringing her knees to her chest so she’d mirror her position and shifting so their bodies were touching. She could feel the blonde’s chest moving up and down, and soon their breathing was paced and rhythmic. They sat there for about an hour, neither saying a word. The blonde appreciated what the brunette had done, even if she had fallen asleep on her shoulder not half an hour after the gesture.

She watched the first rays of sunlight go through the glass windows on her left, lighting up the whole floor with the way the reflected on every surface. She didn’t dare to move, fearing of waking up the girl next to her, who needed sleep after the way she had cried before she finally managed to rest. She didn’t mind not sleeping herself, it had been a long time since she had more than three hours of sleep at night. She was used to being awake when no one else was, it gave her time to think. Even if it had just been just her for a while now.

Besides, sleep never came on its own, not without the nightmares. She had tried everything to get rid of them, but it never seemed to help. It had been a month since she left Seattle and still it felt like it had been just days. The nightmares always ended the same way, she would wake up screaming and unable to breathe. She would do pretty much anything to avoid them, even if it meant not resting enough. 

The brunette shivered next to her, shifting in her sleep so she wasn’t leaning on the blonde’s shoulder anymore. Elyza took it as her queue to move, she stood up and flexed her muscles, the position she had spent the last hour in hadn’t done much for the pain in her leg. She let it go and shrugged off her jacket, placing it on top of Alicia’s shoulders, she didn’t mind that it wrinkled on the back, unable to go all the way down because of the wall standing against the girl’s body.

After she moved around a little, stretching and warming up for whatever the day had planned for them, she picked up the backpack she had left against the window the previous night. It contained everything she needed to survive. She sat on the floor, across from the still sleeping form of the other girl. She looked so peaceful, still hugging her knees with her hands, her head resting slightly on her left shoulder. The blonde came to the realization that the girl in front of her was the most breathtaking woman she had ever seen, she was stunningly beautiful, but it was more than that, she could feel something gaping at the void she was long used to having in her chest. The brunette shifted slightly, her hair falling over her chest in a silken brown wave. Elyza took a second to look at the rest of her body, noticing instantly how this girl was definitely dressed for a runway, not the end of the world. She was wearing a loose white top with long cuts under her arms, you could easily spot the black bra she had underneath. Her long legs barely covered by a pair of denim high waisted shorts, and to top the look a pair of white vans on her feet. _Someone needs to let this girl know the apocalypse came around._ After staring for a couple of long minutes she scolded herself, when reminded of how attracted she felt by the brunette. But she knew she couldn’t have this happen right now. A little bit of innocent flirting wouldn’t do any harm, but this was the worst moment to get attached to strangers. And even if she wanted to, she wasn’t the same person she used to be, that, she knew for certain. But there was something else she was completely sure of, she wouldn’t let the girl die, not when she could protect her.

She went through her backpack looking for something they could eat before heading out to the docks. It was time to go, there was more than enough light to move around now, and getting to the docks would take them at least two or three hours, more if they encountered a horde close to the main access. She knew the big horde that formed the previous day would probably still be together and even bigger in size by now, they had to avoid them at least by a thousand feet at all times if they wanted to be safe. She sighed loudly, absolutely clueless as to _how the actual fuck_ she was going to reunite the girl with her family. _It doesn’t matter how, I will find a way_ , she reminded herself. She made a promise and she wasn’t one to go back on those.

She took what was left of a can of peanuts and two bottles of water out of her backpack, closing it and leaving it aside. She walked towards Alicia and kicked her foot softly, just enough to wake her up. She heard her let out a small moan and _holy shit_ , this was not an okay thing to do to someone. The brunette looked up after a couple of seconds, letting go of her legs and stretching them in front of her, her hands falling to the floor on each of her sides. _Not something I would mind waking up to_ the blonde though for a second, before bringing herself back to reality. 

“Morning” the brunette’s voice still tainted by sleep, she dragged the words lazily “I didn’t even realize I fell asleep, why didn’t you wake me?” she asked, looking up at her with a half-smile.

“You look very cute when you sleep” the blonde replied, her lips curving in a smirk, handing Alicia the can and one of the bottles.

The brunette blushed a little and her smiled evolved into a full one, accepting the items the blonde extended to her. “Thanks” she said, taking a moment to open the bottle a take a couple of sips from it. Once she calmed her thirst, her attention was back on the blonde, a curious look in her eyes. “Did you manage to sleep some more?” she inquired.  
Elyza moved to her backpack once again, sitting across Alicia as she had done before when she was still asleep. She started organizing her weapons, cleaning the ones that were stained with blood or had bits of brains stuck to them. “Not really, I’m not much of a sleeper” she replied lightly, feigning focus on the task at hand, hoping it would keep the other girl from asking her any personal questions. 

And Alicia was no idiot, of course she noticed. Something had happened to the blonde, something far worse that what she had been through herself, she could see it. But she couldn’t stop herself from feeling a pull in her chest. She wanted to be there for her, she wanted to help this girl like she had helped her. 

Eliza may have saved Alicia from being torn to pieces by a walker, but they both knew there is more than one way in which one can be saved. Alicia might not have been able to kill thirty walkers single handedly, but she knew what it meant to need saving from yourself, it was a kind of pain that hit a little bit too close to home. She knew what it meant to travel the road to redemption without really thinking you deserve it. She had seen her own brother punish himself for what he thought was his fault just by making himself drop even lower. She knew all about being self-destructive, and she could see traces of it in the little things the blonde let show. 

She opened the can, eating a couple of peanuts while sneaking glances at the girl across from her, something about Elyza captivated her. She knew she liked girls, she had never been with one but she had known she was bi for a year or so. The first and only person she told was Nick, she could remember that day.

Nick had been home for a month or so, he had even started working at the store a couple of streets over. That was the longest he had been back in a long time. He would come home still wearing that ridiculous yellow apron and sit on the couch to wait for her, apron discarded on the coffee table. The TV usually on, the channel set on some shitty reality show. That’s what she’d come home to the autumn of her junior year. She would roll her eyes at him when he patted the spot next to him on the couch, giving in but sitting as far as the couch allowed, her legs propped up on the coffee table, her phone on her hand and one earphone on, the other one hanging loosely by her side. They would sit there in silence, talking about Travis sometimes, or their mom, but it never lasted long, they enjoyed the silence in company of the other, even if neither of them was willing to admit it.  
One of those days Alicia came home and she just sat. Nick felt the change in the atmosphere and raised an eyebrow at the absence of feet on the coffee table. Instead she sat towards him on the couch, her legs on the space between them, phone in her hand, but she wasn’t looking at it, she was looking right at her brother. 

Nick waited for her to speak first, she was looking at him but not meeting his eyes, her stare fixed somewhere on his white shirt when she spoke “I think I like girls too”, she looked up at him with a soft expression in her eyes. She wasn’t confessing something; she was sharing something that felt important. 

“That’s okay” he said, a small smile curving his lips. “Does that mean you’re going to reconsider dating that guy? Because I really don’t like him” he added, her voice deeper in an effort to imitate Travis’, mocking his expression but doing a poor job of it. 

Alicia’s face relaxed and a smirk took over her lips, she threw a pillow at Nick’s face, hitting him on the jaw “Asshole”. Nick turned to the TV and Alicia to her phone, her feet back to their usual position on the coffee table, both siblings showing a small smile but neither of them saying another word. 

“Are you trying to get me flustered?” the blonde’s voice snapped Alicia out of her daydreaming. “Because if you are I can tell you it’s working pretty well” she added with a light laugh, the one she always let out when making her blush. And she was, blushing. She realized she had been eating slowly and playing a little bit with the peanuts before actually putting them in her mouth, not that she was doing it consciously. Still, it was enough to get her a joke from the blonde and she didn’t think she would be able to play it cool for much longer. “We should get going” she said as she stood up, noticing the jacket on her shoulders as it was dropping to the floor behind her. She turned around a picked it up, looking back at the blonde with a questioning look. 

Elyza had already put everything into her backpack and was on her feet, fiddling with one of the knife holder’s straps when she met her gaze, understanding the implicit question. “You were shivering, what kind of date am I if I don’t give you my jacket in time of dire need?” she mocked with a smirk, earning another blush from the brunette, who in turn threw the jacket across the room. The girl caught it in a swift spinning motion and took a second to put it into her backpack before closing it and hanging it between her shoulders. Looking at Alicia once again, her gaze relaxed and a not-so-new-smirk settled on her lips, Elyza offered her hand, “Shall we?”.

Alicia looked around for the baseball bat, and jogged up to where it stood next to the window, the other girl’s face puzzled by the strange behavior of the brunette until she realized what she was up to. After taking the bat with her left hand, Alicia turned around and caught the blonde’s hand in hers, and with a small smile on her lips, led them both down the stairs, back into the outside world. 

Once they were on the entrance of the building Elyza stopped them so she could explain what she had on her mind to the brunette. “I was thinking we should climb the water building; their main tower is at least twice as high as any other building in this town. It should be enough of a vantage point to see what way is clear to get to the docks without running into too much trouble” she said, looking at her, hands still joined, certain of the safety of her plan.

Alicia looked at her inquiringly “Why don’t we just try our luck? I know you can kill any walkers we run into” she stated. Not bothering to add the real reason, _I really, really want to get there as soon as possible._

“I don’t want to take any chances, going out there blind could end up with us trapped, or worse, it could get you killed”. Alicia tried not to think about the way she only mentioned her. She failed miserably. “You’re nuts if you think I’m putting you in any unnecessary danger”, the blonde continued, her voice still sure but her features much softer. “Do you really think I would go through all this trouble so you could serve yourself on a plate for some walker?” she finished, her trademark smirk once again taking over her. That smirk was doing _things_ to her, this wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair _at all._

But the blonde made a good point, she knew that. She tried to put her haste aside, even though she really wanted to go back to her family, she understood the risks of trying to get through a town with the biggest walker mob she had ever seen roaming around with no clue as to where it was. The blonde was right, but she wouldn’t let her know she thought so, so she made sure to quirk an eyebrow and sigh a little bit, looking away. She thought she saw something flash across the other girl’s face through the corner of her eye but by the time she looked at her there was nothing more than a pair of ocean deep blue eyes and a smirk she was starting to get used to. 

“Come on, it’s barely five blocks away, we’ll be there before you know it” The blonde gripped her axe with her right hand and pulled Alicia’s hand with her left, pushing the door of the building open with her shoulder, finally leading them out into the street.

Alicia followed Elyza’s pace easily, looking behind her every few seconds just in case something showed up. They turned right as soon as they were out of the glass doors, there was more than enough light to see everything around them, a couple of clouds keeping the sunrays from hitting them directly. She felt a breeze against the bare skin of her legs and cursed herself for her dislike of pants. You need to get over some stuff when the world is ending and you’re heading north, you’re going to freeze to death otherwise, she thought. 

There weren’t any walkers near them, but if she paid enough attention she could hear a low constant growl coming from somewhere between them and the coastline. The blonde seemed to have read her mind, because not five seconds after Alicia noticed she was already onto it, “The horde is still big, by how loud it is I’m betting it must be half a mile in that direction” she raised her axe to point towards a small lighthouse close to the shore. 

The brunette felt her stomach drop at the confirmation, swallowing hard and squeezing the blonde’s hand in hers. “Our boat isn’t more than two hundred feet from that lighthouse, to the left” she said, completely sure that if fate existed, it unquestionably hated her. 

Elyza, on the other hand, seemed entertained by the new information. “Well, it wouldn’t be much of a date if it was boring, would it?”, she said jokingly, pulling her forward gently and taking a right turn. “We’re close” she added, not looking back, completely focused on her surroundings, trusting Alicia to spot whatever came from behind them. 

What they didn’t count on was one of the doors to their left suddenly opening with a loud whine of metal sliding against metal.

Elyza turned around instantly and got between Alicia and the door before the brunette even realized what was going on. She stood behind the blonde as she scanned inside the building that had just opened. It seemed to be of a residential nature, the blonde stood there, expectantly, knowing the door hadn’t opened on its own and unwilling to risk taking a peek inside of it. Movement meant either walkers or people, and the walkers would’ve shown themselves already. _It had to be people._

Probably coming to the same realization as her, the blonde brought a finger to her lips, signaling the brunette not to make any noise. Alicia nodded in understanding, shifting closer to the other girl’s body. She was scared. They hadn’t met many people since they left L.A., but she knew that most times people were worse than walkers. The walkers were slow, noisy, they had only one goal, killing you. But their attempts to do so could be managed as long as they weren’t in big numbers. People, on the other hand, were _dangerous._ You could never know what their true motives were, in a world where there weren’t any rules, things could get pretty bad pretty quickly. No one really knew where to draw the line, so it really was survival of the fittest when it concerned most people. And she knew what people were capable of. She had seen how merciless the military had been, she could only imagine what any normal person would be able to do when pushed far enough. She crossed her fingers hoping they wouldn’t run into anyone. 

Elyza gave her hand a long squeeze, the brunette realized she was trembling a little and tried to collect herself, she took a couple of deep breaths, making sure she wasn’t making any noise. The blonde started walking towards an alley located across the street from them. They got there without making any sound and hid behind the brick wall. They were far enough from the metal door that they could speak softly without fear of anyone hearing them. 

The blonde looked out to the main street for the last time before turning around to face the brunette, who was still shaking, albeit not as hard as a few moments earlier. The worry in Alicia’s face was evident, taking over all of her features, her eyes looked at the blonde in a way that broke what was left of her heart into a million pieces. She wished she could do something, she wished she could make it all go away. She wished she could kiss her until she melted into her touch, the cruelty of the world they lived in forgotten, nothing more than a bitter memory. But she couldn’t, so instead she cupped que brunette’s face and looked into her eyes, keeping enough distance between them as to not invade her space but not too much so she would hear her when she whispered “You’re okay. There was no one back there, you’re here and you’re okay.” She reassured, her gaze never leaving Alicia’s slightly glossy eyes. “You’re safe, I’m right here, feel my hands on your face” she moved one of her hands to stroke the brunette’s hair lightly, “Breathe Alicia, breathe” she added softly, taking deep breaths herself to help the other girl pace her own. After a couple of minutes, Alicia’s breathing was back to normal, even if her pulse was a little too high. The brunette put her fingers around the blonde’s left wrist, giving it a long squeeze. Elyza understood and let her go with a nod. “I’m going to check the street, we need to keep moving” she announced, the brunette’s expression shifting slightly as she nodded. 

Elyza turned her back to Alicia, focusing on the street stretching both to her left and right. There was something different about it but as hard as she tried, she couldn’t really see…

_No._

“Alicia we have to go, now” she blurted, turning around only to feel something knocking her down onto the ground. 

She felt as if something had been jacked off her shoulders, _my backpack_ , she thought.

And then she fell.

Her temple hit the ground first, the rest of her body following it. She landed hard, most of her weight ending up on her right side, sharp waves of pain shooting up from her leg. She lifted her face from the dirt biting her lip, hoping not to grimace, already feeling the blood running down the side of her face. She attempted to move only to find there was something pinning her to the ground, whatever it was, it felt like a _fucking stone column_ standing on the small of her back. She was _so fucking pissed._  
Her mind clicked and the image of Alicia came to her mind, and with newfound strength, she fought whatever was holding her down a lot harder than before. A laugh came from above her, it was a deep voice, definitely masculine. “Check this out Lin, we got a live one” it said, Elyza could hear the smile on his face as each word came out, like the bastard was enjoying himself. She felt the weight lift from her back, relief starting to wash over her body, only to get interrupted by a new wave of pain, this time located on her ribs. She felt it before she understood what it was, the man’s foot hit her hard enough to turn her over, the air knocked completely out of her body. It took her a couple of seconds to be able to breathe again, but she finally managed to, turning herself on her side, facing the man and looking up at him, gasping in between coughs. 

She wiped the blood from her right eye, not even thinking of moving her leg right now, she knew it was bad. When she looked up again, her vision field clear now, she finally took in the whole situation.

A very muscular man was towering over her, sporting the cruelest expression she had ever seen on his face. He was tall, almost six feet tall, and strong enough to lift pretty much anything he wanted. Right next to him, lying on the floor were her backpack, her knife belt and her rifle. He clearly wasn’t worried about her reaching any of her weapons in time to harm him in any way, and as she looked behind the man she understood exactly why. 

Her heart sank when she saw a tall, slim woman standing with a knife on her right hand, pressing it to Alicia’s pulse point, her free hand thrown across the girl’s chest, holding her steady by the shoulders. The woman’s face didn’t show any sign of emotion, her expression absolutely blank. 

Elyza couldn’t stop herself from displaying the fear that flooded her when she saw Alicia with a knife pressed a little too hard to her throat. She could see it had already drawn blood, a single drop travelling down her neck. She looked at her face and saw the unmasked fear behind her eyes. And for one never-ending second she felt it too. She could see what she was thinking. She was thinking of how she would never see her family again, she was thinking of how Elyza promised her she would take her back and _failed her_ , she was thinking this was the last thing she would see before she _died_.

The blonde shot a look to the other girl, trying to say everything with nothing more than a stare. The brunette seemed to understand, she closed her eyes in an attempt to nod and a tear came running down her cheek.

The blonde’s heart broke for the thousandth time that morning. It was all her fault. But she could still get Alicia out of this alive, she would either get her out of this or die trying.  
She turned to the man again, she guessed he had to be in charge by the way he stood, so sure of his own worth. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?” she said, her strong tone and language in and almost funny contrast with the way she lay on the ground, struggling to keep herself up on her elbow. 

She didn’t know what she expected of the man, but of all the scenarios that ran through her mind as possible outcomes, none featured his smile growing wider, a chuckle leaving his lips and a strong hand lifting her and throwing her against the brick wall to the side in a motion that didn’t last more than a second.

Holy shit, that _really_ hurt.

She heard a loud gasp and a soft “no” leave Alicia’s lip as the back of her head met the brick wall. Her vision went black for a moment, coming back after a couple of seconds. She tried to see the upside, now she was standing up, something she could never have dreamed of managing otherwise.

She pretended to recover from the most recent hit while she took in her surroundings. To her left the main street, running wasn’t an option. In front of her was the man, with all of her weapons at his feet. Next to him that woman, holding Alicia, who looked more than terrified but wouldn’t let it show completely. Somewhere inside her mind Elyza smiled to herself, this girl was an angel. She was absolutely terrified but she still tried to keep herself together in order to support her. She really didn’t deserve to have someone this good in her life. _And you won’t unless you do something to stop them from killing both of you,_ she reminded herself. 

She could hear banging on a metal surface, and she looked for the source. There was a back door behind Alicia and the woman, it had a metal chain around it’s handle, which rattled under force of one or more walkers. That chain was the only thing keeping the walkers inside. 

_Right,_ she rubbed her eyes in order to gain time, she needed something, she needed…

Her axe lay five feet to the left of her, she probably dropped it when she got knocked down, and there was a big chance the man hadn’t even spotted it yet.  
Before she could elaborate her plan any further, the deep voice interrupted her. “I am doing whatever I want” he spat with a toxic grin on his face. “So unless you want Lin here to kill this bitch you’re going to lead me to where the rest of your people are” he added, his tone light, showing a hint of amusement. “The sooner the better, blondie” he finished, staring her down. 

_So that’s what they want_. There was only one way of getting out of this, she just hoped her plan was good enough and Alicia would know what to do. She was relying on her being able to move as soon as she needed her to, and she was trusting the woman’s reflexes to be fast enough to save both Alicia and herself. Elyza looked at the man, positioning her feet so she would be able to move the way she needed to. “That’s a pity, because there’s absolutely no way I’m going to help you, you raging psychopath” as soon as the words were out, the woman and the man shared a look, and then everything was moving.

The man, probably overwhelmed by rage, charged against Elyza, she saw it coming and without wasting much of a second ducked towards the axe, escaping the man’s tackle just before he reached her. In one fluid movement she gripped the handle and turned around, bringing the axe up and felt as she slashed the man’s side. Surprised, he brought a hand up to his side just as the blonde stood up, throwing the axe towards the chain on the door handle. 

The cut was clean, the axe settled deep into the brick wall as the door shot open.

The woman, taken aback but fast on her feet, turned both her and Alicia around, facing the new threat, but loosening her grip on the brunette, which allowed Alicia to hit the woman’s nose with the back of her head with all the strength she had left. The woman took a couple of steps back, the knife falling to the ground, and Alicia snuck out of her hold, taking the knife with her and taking off away from both the woman and the walkers. Once Elyza saw the brunette was free and walking towards her, she made quick work of picking up her gear from the ground. Rifle in hand, she took out the first three walkers that were following Alicia and were getting too close for her liking just as the brunette got to her. 

Eliza took her hand and after stopping to pick up the bat from where it lay next to her feet and offering it to Alicia, she led them out of the alley. 

They were running away as fast as they could, Alicia was checking behind them to see if they were being followed, but they didn’t see anyone come out of the alley. Her stomach turned as she realized what had happened to those people. She shook the though, focusing on the blonde in front of her. She could see Elyza was in bad shape, she was running as fast as she could but still slower than the day before. Every few steps she sank a little to her left and let out a groan.

Alicia realized if they kept the pace she could be seriously hurt. She looked around for somewhere they could stop and rest, if only for the blonde to sit down and clean the blood from her face. She saw a small shop that looked empty, about a hundred feet from them. She squeezed the blonde’s hand, gaining her attention and leading them towards the store. 

Elyza looked at her with a questioning look. “We need to stop, even if it’s just for a couple of seconds” she answered. The blonde seemed to consider it for a second and nodded, following her to the entrance, stepping in first in case the place wasn’t clear but not letting go of her hand.

She took a long look around, but there didn’t seem to be anyone in there. 

The moment the blonde dropped her gear to the floor, she felt arms wrapping around her and a face burying itself in her neck. She tensed up at first, but then she relaxed into the touch. Elyza’s arms soon were wrapped around Alicia’s body, holding on to her like she was a lifeline. 

Neither of them letting go, both girls holding on to the other like she was the only thing that ever mattered in the world. Their heartbeats slowed, their breathing returned to normal and slowly, the strength of their hold faded.

Elyza was the one to break it, she pushed the brunette away and took her by the shoulders, examining the small nick on her throat closely, like it had personally offended her. “Are you okay?” she asked, the brunette surprised by the question. 

“How can you be asking me that?” she replied in a tone a little harsher than intended, the blonde retreating back into her space and dropping her hands from the girl’s shoulders. Alicia, realizing how it must have sounded, approached Elyza again, cupping her face with her hands “I didn’t mean it like that” she paused, looking into the blonde’s eyes, who was staring back with a guilty expression on her face. “Elyza, I’m okay, I am” the brunette reassured her. The other girl’s eyes softening in relief. Alicia didn’t let go of her “But you’re not, you’re _hurt_ ” her voice breaking a little over the last word. 

The blonde closed her eyes for a second, a new wave of pain courtesy of her headache crashing against the back of her eyes, she felt her knees give out from under her and everything going black before she could convince Alicia that she was okay, that she could still take her home. 

-

She woke up to the afternoon light seeping through the shop’s windows. She realized she was lying on the floor, probably after fainting. She tried to get up, grimacing due to the pain in her leg and feeling dizzy. Her head felt like it had been kicked around a football field, she raised a hand to her temple and felt wrappings around the place where she had hit the ground. She couldn’t help smiling to herself because this girl was _definitely_ better than she deserved.

She spotted her going through a small blue box and taking bottles out of it, taking a moment to read the labels and discarding them with a loud sigh after she did. 

The blonde huffed, which caught the attention of the brunette, her face lighting up instantly as she dropped to the floor next to her, taking her hand into hers without hesitating. 

“Are you okay?” she asked, worry written all over her face. 

“I am, it’s just a headache, not worse than my typical Sunday mornings’ before the world went to hell” she said, bringing the smirk back. She didn’t want to worry the brunette. 

It seemed to work, Alicia relaxed visibly and let out a breath, but her calm didn’t last very long when she looked down at the blonde’s leg. “What about that?” she asked, stare fixed on her right thigh. 

The blonde settled on telling her the truth, albeit not all of it. “It’s an old injury, it can hurt for a while when I put too much pressure on it. It’s been like that for a while, nothing to worry about” she answered, her tone light and as convincing as she could manage it. 

The brunette seemed satisfied, bringing her gaze back to meet the blonde’s. Elyza propped herself up on her elbows and turned towards Alicia, “So this is what it takes to get your attention? And I thought you were playing hard to get, turns out you’re just kinky” she said playfully, the statement earning her a slap on the shoulder from the brunette, which she answered feigning a hurt look which in turn made the brunette burst out laughing. 

Elyza hadn’t heard anyone laugh like that in a long time, it stirred something inside her chest. She kept trying to convince herself that it wasn’t real, that it was all in her head. _Stop lying to yourself, you know you like this girl_ , she thought. And she knew, she knew it the moment she felt a familiar tear inside her chest when she thought Alicia would die. 

But there was no room in this new world for something as beautiful and frail as love between two strangers who weren’t really strangers anymore. The inevitable would happen, and this time she wouldn’t be able to survive it. She knew this wasn’t the best for either of them, she had thought differently once and been proven wrong. The only feeling that had a place in this world was survival. But looking at the way the brunette’s fingers traced lines up and down her forearm, her eyes completely focused on her task, each brush soft and painstakingly gentle, she wondered if life could still be about more than just surviving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! I know it was not a very relationship-focused chapter, but I'm hoping to go there in the next one.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr at octaviablakx.tumblr.com!


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